So after four years and 7 months, I have come to a decision to leave bubblebum.tumblr. After all, I am not a bum anymore :) But I am not leaving the blogging world, I have been blogging for God knows how long and I couldn’t give it all up just like that. I am moving on.
Blogging has always been where i find my peace and I miss that - finding peace. Lately, writing feels like more of an obligation. Just to have something up on my blog. I want to write again with all my heart but I am kind of a private person and letting it all out here is a bit scary sometimes. I actually would rather want strangers to be reading my blog rather than peope I actually know. I could let a few trusted persons in but unfortunately Tumblr hasn’t given us that options yet, to filter who can view our blogs. I cant just block them you know.
So I havent made the new blog yet but I will let some of you know when it’s up. Probably tomorrow. I will still use this blog for my instagram photos and other cute images and when i still feel like bumming around :P See you around guys :) And thanks for the four woderful years.
So after Baguio (May 2), I went straight home to change and then went to a 12-hour shift duty. Came home at 7am (May 3) then took a 5-hour nap. Had a quick lunch, then start packing my things again as I am staying over at boyfriend’s place. He is leaving at 11 in the morning the next day (May 4).
I wanted so hard to cry that night. But I didn’t. I don’t want him to worry or to have a change of heart. So instead I put on a smile and made this last night another night to remember. I helped him packed his things up and iron the clothes he would be wearing on his flight. It was the polo I gave him on his birthday. He prepared a bowl of instant palabok (which recently has been our favorite), with boiled eggs, chicken dogs, and tokwa. This all happened at 12 in the morning. At past 1, we lie down on the bed he prepared in the living room. Hugged me so tight and whispered me how much we’re going to make this thing work. How much he love me. That night I felt calmed.
And so the day came…
This was our last picture together. I managed not to cry until I he entered that gate inside. When he was finally out of sight, it started to became real. Tears are starting to form but I fought it back. I don’t want to cry there. I don’t want his family to see my weakness, so instead I chatted with his mom until he texted that we can go home already. All tears came running down as soon as I got into my bedroom. I nonstop cried for i dont know how many hours until he called via skype. I stopped for a while and then cry again. He tries to calm me down and after a while I did. I guess after that call I felt better. I still cry, but not as much anymore.
I know I will always miss him. I know this will be hard. But this is one thing I wanted so hard to fight for. I want us to win this. This our greatest test, and I am optimistic we will ace this. We’ll keep praying…. I love this man so much.
The first week of May has been really tough on me. That is why, no matter how much I wanted to blog about everything, I just couldn’t find the time and the mood to turn my tears into words.
Today I feel a little better. So Im going to take advantage of this feeling and type away.
We finally pushed through our Baguio Getaway Plan, even if it was just overnight (because I have work the next day). Unfortunately that day, a bridge or something was being fixed at the Kennon Road. We had to go through Marcos Hi-Way, which made our supposedly 4-hour trip extended to a 6-hour grueling journey due to heavy traffic. We made it through Baguio in time for an early dinner at the 50’s Diner.
Not much photos, dadalawa kase kami, and mahirap mag “self-portrait” using an DSLR, ang bigat eh.
But these.. are what best dates are made of :) A great place, great food and a great love. ♥
This is one day I never wanted to end. That day was ours. And it kills me, that this is just a memory now. A happy memory though. I’m sure we’ll make new ones. But for now I would just have to wait.